I think I'm ready

to write about what has had me so preoccupied for so long. On Monday, I'm going in to Mary Greeley for a Laparoscopy. That is where they cut a small incision in my abdomen and insert a camera to look around and see why I've been in a tremendous amount of pain for so many months. What they are looking for is Endometriosis - which I fully believe they will find. The ultrasounds have showed some pretty blatant symptoms and I have a pretty strong family history for the condition.

The only way to get rid of it - and the pain - is to have a hysterectomy. The thought of surgery like that has has me a little freaked out. I would really like to have my life back, but the trade off is several days in the hospital and a pretty substantial recovery time. I know, small price to pay. I just can't get my mind out of the short term. Can the family get along without me for that long? How will the house stay kept up? How will the laundry get done? Will I end up doing too much too soon and making the recovery time even longer?

Aahh. I know, Jeff and the kids should help out. Well, honestly, lately Jeff has been so preoccupied with his own life - job hunt, band, etc. - he does NOTHING around here. I'm not going to write any more about Jeff right now because it makes me angry and stressed out. And as far as the kids...they do as much (or more) than the typical 10 and 6 year old do already. Taking care of their sick mother is way too much to ask.

Okay, enough. One of my big pet peeves is blogs that are a constant vent session. I will stop before it gets any worse! But I thought it was time to let my friends and family know what's been going on. I truly appreciate all of the well wishes and I'll keep you updated on my progress -- in a positive way!

A FULL day of work!

I have been working on fall enrollments all day and I am so excited! The studio is really starting to do well. I love the work. Teaching is such an incredible experience. Watching those precious little ones grow and learn...it's amazing!

The paperwork...I can do without!

All Alone!

Jana took Janey and Joey for the weekend, Jeff is at work...

I'm all alone! Not quite sure what to do with myself!

Gratitude Journal Day 3

Okay, I missed a day. I had a Doctor appointment and then had to spend the rest of the day feeling crappy because of the doctor appointment.

But I have thought of something else to be thankful for...

The fact that my Doctor listens to me. I am hurting and scared and he is patient and slow and very kind. He doesn't act like he has tons of other patients to see (even though I know he does) and answers all of my questions in a very simple and straightforward way.

I kind of feel bad -- but not really!

Jeff has been on a pretty active job hunt for a few weeks now. Since the studio is doing pretty well, it would be a really good time for him to get off the road. He would also like more time for his band...his kids...his WIFE!

Well, last week I got a call from a friend of ours from church who is the new Congregation president. She said that since David (the director of music ministries) was leaving, they were looking to hire several people to do his job. They wondered if I would be interested in directing the children's choirs. The job fits into the schedule I have already planned out for fall semester, the pay would be very close to the rent I pay for the studio (!!) and I would love the experience.

I interviewed last week - they called tonight -- my letter of employment is already drawn up!

Poor Jeff. He's been looking for a job for weeks and I have one practically dropped into my lap! I kind of feel bad -- but not really!
:)

Gratitude Journal Day 2

Okay, another little thing. Coffee.

Not much else to say.

Online Gratitude Journal... Day 1

What am I thankful for? I know I should probably say something big, but today it's just something little. My pillows. I have three of them and I can't sleep without them. There is nothing more satisfying then laying down in bed with my pillows placed just right. Aahh. Life is good.

I can't sleep...

My health has been a huge issue for my family lately. I've been "down" for several months.

Fear of the unknown mixed with pain and discomfort are keeping me up at night. I'm not going to write about the pain just yet. I'm not ready yet. I will soon. But in the meantime, just having friends continue to pray for me and my family is a huge comfort.