If you don't, then it's just a "tac." The cheese is the "O."
I don't understand. How is the cheese the "O?"
The cheese is the "O" because it's "Oh so good."
This was a conversation between Joey and myself. Can you guess who said what?
I'll give you hint...I left out the first sentence where I asked, "who wants cheese on their taco?"
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Anybody remember where this came from?
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh nevermind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You're not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead; sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few, you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh nevermind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You're not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead; sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few, you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
My Paycheck
Some jobs have great benefits, like health insurance, 401K plans, stock options, etc.
My job has great benefits -- hugs and kisses and high fives.
I'll take them over stock options anyday!
I love my job!
:)
My job has great benefits -- hugs and kisses and high fives.
I'll take them over stock options anyday!
I love my job!
:)
Friday, April 25, 2008
Is it the weather?
I am becoming cynical and mean spirited.
I've been in a foul mood for the last few weeks, but in the last couple of days it has gotten considerably worse. I'm snapping at people - even the kids, who have done nothing wrong. I went to the grocery store and got so angry because the elderly lady in front of me wasn't moving as fast as I wanted to go and I actually gave her a dirty look. That's not my usual disposition. So what's up with me?
Do I need sunshine?
Do I need a higher dose of Zoloft?
Do I need...**wink** (I'll let you fill in the blank!)
Maybe I just need to accept the fact that my rosy view of people is naive and short sighted. I need to expect people to be nasty, rude, dishonest and mean and then when they aren't, I can be pleasantly surprised.
I've been in a foul mood for the last few weeks, but in the last couple of days it has gotten considerably worse. I'm snapping at people - even the kids, who have done nothing wrong. I went to the grocery store and got so angry because the elderly lady in front of me wasn't moving as fast as I wanted to go and I actually gave her a dirty look. That's not my usual disposition. So what's up with me?
Do I need sunshine?
Do I need a higher dose of Zoloft?
Do I need...**wink** (I'll let you fill in the blank!)
Maybe I just need to accept the fact that my rosy view of people is naive and short sighted. I need to expect people to be nasty, rude, dishonest and mean and then when they aren't, I can be pleasantly surprised.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Why is it so hard for them to see the obvious?
I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with people. Not all people, just people with children. Not all people with children just certain people with children.
Some of my friends have become so self-centered. Get it through your heads folks! Once you have a child, every decision you make affects them! Stop making decisions that will screw up your kids!!
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.
Some of my friends have become so self-centered. Get it through your heads folks! Once you have a child, every decision you make affects them! Stop making decisions that will screw up your kids!!
Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I've been tagged!
5 Things You Found In Your Bag
1. Wallet
2. Book I'm reading - Eat Pray Love
3. Make up bag
4. Bottle of Tylenol
5. Gum
5 Favorite Things In Your Room
1. Stained glass lamp
2. Wedding pictures
3. Kid's baby pictures
4. My blanket with the purple flowers
5. Arrested Development DVDs
5 Things You Are Currently Into
1. Gardening
2. Walking
3. Growing my business
4. Improving my teaching skills
5. Making new friends
5 Things You Have Always Wanted To Do
1. Attend a show on Broadway
2. Take vacation on a train
3. Walk in a charity walk
4. Build our dream house (we are on our way!)
5. Take the kids to Disney World
5 People You Want To Tag
1. Kimberly
2. Jen
3. Megan
4.
5.
1. Wallet
2. Book I'm reading - Eat Pray Love
3. Make up bag
4. Bottle of Tylenol
5. Gum
5 Favorite Things In Your Room
1. Stained glass lamp
2. Wedding pictures
3. Kid's baby pictures
4. My blanket with the purple flowers
5. Arrested Development DVDs
5 Things You Are Currently Into
1. Gardening
2. Walking
3. Growing my business
4. Improving my teaching skills
5. Making new friends
5 Things You Have Always Wanted To Do
1. Attend a show on Broadway
2. Take vacation on a train
3. Walk in a charity walk
4. Build our dream house (we are on our way!)
5. Take the kids to Disney World
5 People You Want To Tag
1. Kimberly
2. Jen
3. Megan
4.
5.
545 People
This is the simplest, most understandable and truest explanation of the woes of the nation and who caused them, as well as how to cure them. This should be sent to every person in the U.S., including the '545'.
545 People
By Charlie Reese --
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress.
In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority.
They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.
I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.
No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.
The president can only propose a budget.
He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.
Who is the speaker of the House?
She is the leader of the majority party.
She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want.
If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.
I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.
When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.
Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel
545 People
By Charlie Reese --
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress.
In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority.
They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.
I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.
No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.
The president can only propose a budget.
He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.
Who is the speaker of the House?
She is the leader of the majority party.
She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want.
If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.
I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.
When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.
Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Time Management
Why can't I seem to get my act together? I have so much on my plate right now, but none of it is so demanding that I can't get it all done. I think I almost need to write myself a schedule to keep myself on track. You know, like school?
9-10 am Lesson planning and practice
10-11 am Bookwork and correspondence
12 - 1 pm Laundry and housework
But then how do I monitor myself? With the oven timer? With a CD that plays for 50 minutes?
And here's another delima -- When do I take a day off? Or do I? Am I able to NOT work for a whole day of the week? What the heck will I do with that time?
HELP!!
9-10 am Lesson planning and practice
10-11 am Bookwork and correspondence
12 - 1 pm Laundry and housework
But then how do I monitor myself? With the oven timer? With a CD that plays for 50 minutes?
And here's another delima -- When do I take a day off? Or do I? Am I able to NOT work for a whole day of the week? What the heck will I do with that time?
HELP!!
Friday, April 18, 2008
All Shook Up!
Jeff called a bit ago. He had to tell me that he felt the earthquake this morning! He was stopped for the night in Oak Grove Kentucky.
I think he was a bit "shook up!"
Sorry, I know that was lame!
I think he was a bit "shook up!"
Sorry, I know that was lame!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Kill me now
A MySpace friend of mine posted this as a bulletin. She thought it was possibly the "Gayest Instrument of All Time." Her favorite parts included the jam session and the "more cowbell" parts.
I think I threw up a little in my mouth as I watched it.
I'm a Yellow?
I was taking a little break from my lesson planning and I took one of those online quizzes to determine what color I am.
Apparently, I'm yellow.
Okay, yellow's good. The color of sunshine, daffodils, my favorite robe, a glass of wine....that stain on my kitchen counter that won't go away, the house around the corner where the bratty kids live, urine.
Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this information. Should I seek out other yellows to chat with so we can help each other out with our yellow issues? Should I try to avoid the purples since they are opposite from me on the color wheel? What color is Jeff? Are Janey and Joey automatically green or orange since they have a yellow mother?
What a burden to be labeled. I want to be appreciated as a yellow individually, but also as a part of the greater picture. The essential component of the rainbow, happily nestled between red and orange. A vital part of green.
And the weird part if it is, I always thought of myself as a pink. I don't think these things are very scientific.
Apparently, I'm yellow.
Okay, yellow's good. The color of sunshine, daffodils, my favorite robe, a glass of wine....that stain on my kitchen counter that won't go away, the house around the corner where the bratty kids live, urine.
Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this information. Should I seek out other yellows to chat with so we can help each other out with our yellow issues? Should I try to avoid the purples since they are opposite from me on the color wheel? What color is Jeff? Are Janey and Joey automatically green or orange since they have a yellow mother?
What a burden to be labeled. I want to be appreciated as a yellow individually, but also as a part of the greater picture. The essential component of the rainbow, happily nestled between red and orange. A vital part of green.
And the weird part if it is, I always thought of myself as a pink. I don't think these things are very scientific.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Eavesdropping on a conversation in the backseat
Joey: (Reading from a booklet found in the pocket of the seat) Arthur Tricks the Tooth Fairy. Sunday, March 9. Thirteen and fifty dollars. *Note: Joey doesn’t say his "Rs" very well so dollars sounds like "dollos"
Janey: What?
Joey: Arthur Tricks the Tooth Fairy. Sunday, March 9. Thirteen and fifty dollars.
Janey: What? Let me see that. That’s thirteen dollars and fifty cents.
Joey: What?
Janey: Thirteen dollars and fifty cents. Not thirteen and fifty dollars. Thirteen dollars and fifty cents.
Joey: Details.
Janey: What?
Joey: Arthur Tricks the Tooth Fairy. Sunday, March 9. Thirteen and fifty dollars.
Janey: What? Let me see that. That’s thirteen dollars and fifty cents.
Joey: What?
Janey: Thirteen dollars and fifty cents. Not thirteen and fifty dollars. Thirteen dollars and fifty cents.
Joey: Details.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Trusting in God. Is it just a phrase?
I have put trust in God. Over the last few months there have been lots of conversations between God and I. We've been pretty tight. I truly feel that God has guided me to some of the best decisions I've made for my marriage, my children and my career. And God has graced us all with the power of free will. I make choices and decisions for myself and my family everyday. And while I usually don't ask for God's guidance while choosing which brand of fabric softener to use, I do like to Pray for guidance on the larger decisions.
Something that I have seen more and more is people using their free will to make decisions that are immoral, unethical and just bad, and then claim that God is their guide. I've heard so many times, "God will see me through this. I trust in Him." Okay, I believe that He will, too. But I think the real question is, was God a part of the decision that you made to create the situation that you are in?
What if the result of your unethical decision is injury or monetary loss for others? Say, a drunk driving accident that you caused. If you were truly asking God for guidance, would He lead you to deny responsibility, or to stand up and do your best to make things right?
It's just something that's been on my mind lately.
Something that I have seen more and more is people using their free will to make decisions that are immoral, unethical and just bad, and then claim that God is their guide. I've heard so many times, "God will see me through this. I trust in Him." Okay, I believe that He will, too. But I think the real question is, was God a part of the decision that you made to create the situation that you are in?
What if the result of your unethical decision is injury or monetary loss for others? Say, a drunk driving accident that you caused. If you were truly asking God for guidance, would He lead you to deny responsibility, or to stand up and do your best to make things right?
It's just something that's been on my mind lately.
Movie Quote Game
My cousin Andrew convinced me that I needed to do the IMBD movie quote game. It took me about a week! I went to IMDB and chose 16 of my favorite films. I copied quotes from them and pasted them here. Can you guess what movies they are?
Good Luck!
#1
Personally, Veda’s convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
#2
Get me a bromide - and put some gin in it.
#3
What I said was true, there’s no difference between the sexes. Men, women, the same.
They are?
Well, maybe there is a difference, but it’s a little difference.
Well, you know as the French say...
What do they say?
Vive la difference!
Which means?
Which means hurrah for that little difference.
#4
Hey Noah, what are you doing with that Ark?
Collecting animals like the good Lord told me brother. All we need now is a jackass. Hop in!
#5
It ain’t fittin’... it ain’t fittin’. It jes’ ain’t fittin’... It ain’t fittin’.
#6
This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
What? Who is this?
This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
Hello? Hello?
What’s the matter?
One of the servants has been at the sherry again.
The Philadelphia Story - Megan
#7
I don’t belong here, I feel it, don’t you think I feel it. I can’t do any of these vile things and I wouldn’t WANT to. Oh, my life is like death. My children are the spawn of hell, and you’re the devil. Oh God.
But baby, we LIKE you.
Overboard - Jen
#8
Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?
Yeah. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
The Breakfast Club - Megan
#9
I’ve sent in my application to the Real World. So I’m hoping to hear back from that. I’m putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I’m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what’s up guys? Want some crack?" I’m just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
Talledega Nights - Megan
#10
Now, Milton. Don’t be greedy. Pass the cake along so everyone gets a piece.
Last time, I did not receive a piece, and I was told that I...
Just pass.
Oh. Okay.
Office Space - Kim, Andrew
#11
What was her family like?
What you’d expect: toffee-nosed and useless. Her father was the Earl of Carton, which sounds good except he didn’t have a pot to piss in.
Why do we spend our time living through them? Look at poor old Lewis. If her own mother had a heart attack, she’d think it was less important than one of Lady Sylvia’s farts.
#12
I’m sure I don’t do anything you would find exciting. I don’t open beer bottles with my toes, I don’t sit around and count what’s left of my teeth, hey, I don’t even enjoy a good tractor pull.
Life of the party, huh? Place must be crawling with guys.
As a matter of fact, I do have a boyfriend.
Well there’s a rough gig. What do you do, keep him chained up in the basement?
Hale at the moment is working in my father’s London office, he’s an MBA - Harvard. You may have heard of it. They do have a hockey team.
He must be very smart. I bet you look pretty good from a few thousand miles away.
#13
Baby?
Your daughter’s having a baby?
A baby?
You’re going to be a grandma?
No, no, no, no. I’m too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression.
I was at Woodstock, for Christ’s sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who’s helicopter as it flew away!
I was at Woodstock.
Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!
#14
Where are you boys from in the world?
Alabama, sir!
You twins?
No, we are not relations, sir.
Forrest Gump - Jen
#15
The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back.
When Harry Met Sally - Kim
#16
I wish you hadn’t worn this jacket.
What’s wrong with it?
Well, look at it - it’s got your name and your picture on it. It’s a little grotesque.
I’m proud of what I do.
So is the President - he doesn’t wear his picture on his suit.
Hi.
Mitch Robbins.
I’m Ed Furillo - I sell sporting goods.
Show him your jacket.
I’m Phil Berquist. I committed adultery; lost my job and my family.
His jacket’s being made.
City Slickers - Megan
Good Luck!
#1
Personally, Veda’s convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
#2
Get me a bromide - and put some gin in it.
#3
What I said was true, there’s no difference between the sexes. Men, women, the same.
They are?
Well, maybe there is a difference, but it’s a little difference.
Well, you know as the French say...
What do they say?
Vive la difference!
Which means?
Which means hurrah for that little difference.
#4
Hey Noah, what are you doing with that Ark?
Collecting animals like the good Lord told me brother. All we need now is a jackass. Hop in!
#5
It ain’t fittin’... it ain’t fittin’. It jes’ ain’t fittin’... It ain’t fittin’.
#6
This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
What? Who is this?
This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
Hello? Hello?
What’s the matter?
One of the servants has been at the sherry again.
The Philadelphia Story - Megan
#7
I don’t belong here, I feel it, don’t you think I feel it. I can’t do any of these vile things and I wouldn’t WANT to. Oh, my life is like death. My children are the spawn of hell, and you’re the devil. Oh God.
But baby, we LIKE you.
Overboard - Jen
#8
Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?
Yeah. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
The Breakfast Club - Megan
#9
I’ve sent in my application to the Real World. So I’m hoping to hear back from that. I’m putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I’m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what’s up guys? Want some crack?" I’m just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
Talledega Nights - Megan
#10
Now, Milton. Don’t be greedy. Pass the cake along so everyone gets a piece.
Last time, I did not receive a piece, and I was told that I...
Just pass.
Oh. Okay.
Office Space - Kim, Andrew
#11
What was her family like?
What you’d expect: toffee-nosed and useless. Her father was the Earl of Carton, which sounds good except he didn’t have a pot to piss in.
Why do we spend our time living through them? Look at poor old Lewis. If her own mother had a heart attack, she’d think it was less important than one of Lady Sylvia’s farts.
#12
I’m sure I don’t do anything you would find exciting. I don’t open beer bottles with my toes, I don’t sit around and count what’s left of my teeth, hey, I don’t even enjoy a good tractor pull.
Life of the party, huh? Place must be crawling with guys.
As a matter of fact, I do have a boyfriend.
Well there’s a rough gig. What do you do, keep him chained up in the basement?
Hale at the moment is working in my father’s London office, he’s an MBA - Harvard. You may have heard of it. They do have a hockey team.
He must be very smart. I bet you look pretty good from a few thousand miles away.
#13
Baby?
Your daughter’s having a baby?
A baby?
You’re going to be a grandma?
No, no, no, no. I’m too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression.
I was at Woodstock, for Christ’s sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who’s helicopter as it flew away!
I was at Woodstock.
Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!
#14
Where are you boys from in the world?
Alabama, sir!
You twins?
No, we are not relations, sir.
Forrest Gump - Jen
#15
The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back.
When Harry Met Sally - Kim
#16
I wish you hadn’t worn this jacket.
What’s wrong with it?
Well, look at it - it’s got your name and your picture on it. It’s a little grotesque.
I’m proud of what I do.
So is the President - he doesn’t wear his picture on his suit.
Hi.
Mitch Robbins.
I’m Ed Furillo - I sell sporting goods.
Show him your jacket.
I’m Phil Berquist. I committed adultery; lost my job and my family.
His jacket’s being made.
City Slickers - Megan
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