A little teary...

Last night, I listened to Janey rehearse a speech for school. Her topic was Girl Scouts and she used such great expression. It really was wonderful.
Then I asked if I could look through her speech folder. I had no real reason to do this, she has been doing fine. I was just curious, I guess. I came across the instruction sheet for this speech assignment. It asked for 5 possible topic ideas, things that are meaningful to you and easy for you to talk about. Here was Janey's list:
1. Dance
2. Girl Scouts
3. Dogs
4. Rabbits
5. My Mom

Win tickets to Disney on Ice!

What a great contest! I am falling in love with IowaMoms.net. It is such a great resource for fun things to do and interesting discussions. Check it out and enter to win tickets to Disney on Ice!



Enter the contest here

Enjoy!

I have nothing to say about this

"I don't know why..."

Old friends doing wonderful things

So, did you see Tim Gunn's guide to Style on Bravo last night? The wonderful woman being outfitted was one of my oldest friends, Angela Jia Kim.



Here are links to her websites:

Her Piano Site

Her new skin care line, OM Aroma

And her new social networking site

I am so proud of her!

Is a true friend a "yes" friend?

I don't think so. Telling people only what they want to hear can make a weak person weaker. A strong friend will be truthful -- even if that means saying something that isn't popular or easy to hear.

And here is a little gripe I have lately --

If you truly want advice, then accept what is offered to you, thank those who offer it and move on. If you would rather just state what you think so that others will agree with you and and give you kudos for a job well done, then fine. Say so. Don't disguise it as a looking for advice.

It seems like there are so many people who think

What should I do? = Tell me what I already did was right.

End of gripe session today.
:)

Am I weird?

There seems to be fascination with Ninjas and Pirates. The obsession has even filtered into my favorite online game, Pack Rat.

Well, I hate Ninjas and Pirates.

What's wrong with me?

Always time for a good giggle...

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Spencer standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque.

It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.



The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy.

And said quietly, 'Good morning Spence.'



'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? '



The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'



Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.



Finally, little Spencer's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,


Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:30?

An Overdue Update on Janey and the 504 Plan

After a series of meetings, Janey's 504 Plan is in place at the Middle School. She is doing great! Her grades are excellent and more importantly, she is proud of the work she is doing and the progress she has made. Jeff and I are so proud of her!

The process of finding her disability and then getting the appropriate accommodations in place for her is a journey that has been difficult and rewarding.



Here is what I have learned:
1. If you suspect that your child may have a learning disability or a behavior disorder have them tested. You cannot help them if you don't know what exactly is wrong.

2. Parents who have children with ADHD or any other disability need to get all of the information they can about their children's rights on their own. Do not depend on the doctors of the schools to give it to you -- they won't.

3. Don't be afraid to stand up and be an advocate for your child. The school officials like to portray themselves as experts (which some of them are) but the ONLY expert on YOUR CHILD is YOU.

4. Don't be intimidated by titles like Principal or Superintendent. Their titles don't make it alright for them to be rude or disrespectful. Remember who pays their salaries.

5. Keep records. Write everything down.

6. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You never know who might have some valuable advice!

7. Don't underestimate the power of your support for your child. Janey has shown us a side of herself that we didn't know was there. She is stronger, more confident and self assured because she knows that we have her back no matter what. That doesn't mean she can slack off -- she's tried that! It means that we believe in her and she continues to prove to us that we are right to do so!

Thanks to all that have helped us with this process. Your support and advice have been so wonderful.

Dave Ramsey - The Common Sense Fix

Years of bad decisions and stupid mistakes have created an economic nightmare in this country, but $700 billion in new debt is not the answer. As a tax-paying American citizen,I will not support any congressperson who votes to implement such a policy. Instead, I submit the following three step Common Sense Plan.

I. INSURANCE
a. Insure the subprime bonds/mortgages with an underlying FHA-type insurance.
Government-insured and backed loans would have an instant market all over the
world, creating immediate and needed liquidity.

b. In order for a company to accept the government-backed insurance, they must do two things:

1. Rewrite any mortgage that is more than three months delinquent to a
6% fixed-rate mortgage.

a. Roll all back payments with no late fees or legal costs into the
balance. This brings homeowners current and allows them a
chance to keep their homes.

b. Cancel all prepayment penalties to encourage refinancing or
the sale of the property to pay off the bad loan. In the event of
foreclosure or short sale, the borrower will not be held liable
for any deficit balance. FHA does this now, and that
encourages mortgage companies to go the extra mile while
working with the borrower—again limiting foreclosures and
ruined lives.

2. Cancel ALL golden parachutes of EXISTING and FUTURE CEOs and
executive team members as long as the company holds these
government-insured bonds/mortgages. This keeps underperforming
executives from being paid when they don’t do their jobs.

c. This backstop will cost less than $50 billion—a small fraction of the current proposal.


II. MARK TO MARKET

a. Remove mark to market accounting rules for two years on only subprime Tier III
bonds/mortgages. This keeps companies from being forced to artificially mark down bonds/mortgages below the value of the underlying mortgages and real estate.


b. This move creates patience in the market and has an immediate stabilizing effect on failing and ailing banks—and it costs the taxpayer nothing.


III. CAPITAL GAINS TAX

a. Remove the capital gains tax completely. Investors will flood the real estate and stock market in search of tax-free profits, creating tremendous—and immediate—liquidity in the markets. Again, this costs the taxpayer nothing.

b. This move will be seen as a lightning rod politically because many will say it is helping the rich. The truth is the rich will benefit, but it will be their money that stimulates the economy. This will enable all Americans to have more stable jobs and retirement investments that go up instead of down.

This is not a time for envy, and it’s not a time for politics. It’s time for all of us, as Americans, to stand up, speak out, and fix this mess.

** Jeff and I have been Dave Ramsey fans for a while now and we both have forwarded this plan to our Congressmen and Senators. For moth info on Dave Ramsey and his philosophy, visit http://www.daveramsey.com/

So almost 12 years ago...

Jeff and I got married. And then it seems like the next day he went on the road and hasn't really been home on a regular basis since. Well, now he is. He leaves for work anytime between 3 and 5 in the morning and gets home between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.

I have to say, this is a change in our lives that really made me nervous. We haven't lived together like this -- ever. He's home for dinner every night. He's home over the weekends. Can I deal with that? Initially, it sounds wonderful, but actually, after forcing myself to deal with basically being a single parent for years I was really nervous about having him around so much.

Well, I'm so happy to report that the transition has gone beautifully! The whole family has really gotten along well with this positive, but yet still stressful change. It's been so wonderful to have Jeff's help with parenting and cooking. He's had a lot more time for his music and Greenstreet (his band.) He even takes Joey to Cub Scouts!

I have always loved Jeff. From our first date I knew that he was the one for me. But over years of being apart so much I have trained myself to get along with seeing him in small doses. Less than 48 hours at a time. Our time together was so short that we had to focus on the needs. He needs to spend time with the kids. He needs to mow the lawn. He needs to change the oil on the car. And on, and on. When so many needs have to be met in such a short time, it doesn't leave much time for fun stuff.



I had forgotten how much fun he is to be around. We are having such a great time just doing stuff together. Shopping, walking the dogs, even cleaning up around the house. It's so neat to have him here!

The Family Curse

Migraines.

My Mom has suffered with Migraines for her entire life. They put her in bed for at least a day at a time. She can't look at the light, sounds ring in her head, nausea takes over. She has tried all kinds of meds, home remedies, chiropractic care, acupuncture, reflexology -- you name it. Nothing has ever really done the trick every time.

Last February, I experienced my first Migraine. I was in tears from the pain. and then the nausea kicked in. Wow. Since then I have had a couple more - one of them put me in the ER.

Now it looks like Joey has the same issue. He's so young, but his headaches seem to be so intense and all of the Migraine symptoms are there as well (sensitivity to light and sound, nausea, severe pain.)

Yet another thing for me to feel guilty about.

RIP - One of my favorites.

WESTPORT, Conn. (Sept. 27) - Paul Newman, the Academy-Award winning superstar who personified cool as an activist, race car driver, popcorn impresario and the anti-hero of such films as "Hud," ''Cool Hand Luke" and "The Color of Money," has died. He was 83.
Newman died Friday after a long battle with cancer at his farmhouse near Westport, publicist Jeff Sanderson said. He was surrounded by his family and close friends.

In May, Newman he had dropped plans to direct a fall production of "Of Mice and Men," citing unspecified health issues.

He got his start in theater and on television during the 1950s, and went on to become one of the world's most enduring and popular film stars, a legend held in awe by his peers. He was nominated for Oscars 10 times, winning one regular award and two honorary ones, and had major roles in more than 50 motion pictures, including "Exodus," ''Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," ''The Verdict," ''The Sting" and "Absence of Malice."

Newman worked with some of the greatest directors of the past half century, from Alfred Hitchcock and John Huston to Robert Altman, Martin Scorsese and the Coen brothers. His co-stars included Elizabeth Taylor, Lauren Bacall, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and, most famously, Robert Redford, his sidekick in "Butch Cassidy" and "The Sting."

He sometimes teamed with his wife and fellow Oscar winner, Joanne Woodward, with whom he had one of Hollywood's rare long-term marriages. "I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?" Newman told Playboy magazine when asked if he was tempted to stray. They wed in 1958, around the same time they both appeared in "The Long Hot Summer," and Newman directed her in several films, including "Rachel, Rachel" and "The Glass Menagerie."

With his strong, classically handsome face and piercing blue eyes, Newman was a heartthrob just as likely to play against his looks, becoming a favorite with critics for his convincing portrayals of rebels, tough guys and losers. "I was always a character actor," he once said. "I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood."

Too much to do.

I think that that the biggest problem I have with being my own boss. There is no time clock that announces that the end of the work day is here and I need to punch out and go home. There is no separation between home and work.

Truthfully, I really like that. I don't have to answer to anyone.

And I also really hate it. The buck stops here. There is no boss I can go to when I'm stuck. No one else to blame when things don't go as planned!

Maybe I need to install a time clock for myself! Punch in at 7:30 and punch out at 4! That's a thought...

Or I could hire a boss for myself. Someone to yell at me; encourage me; hold me accountable. An even better thought...

Have you ever had so much to do that the thought of even starting one task is overwhelming? That's kind of where I am right now. There are so many things to do that when I look at my list I almost freeze. And then I feel guilty for spending time blogging or emailing (if it's not work related.)

I had better do something though!

An interesting alternative...

A friend of mine posted this on MySpace. Food for thought...

The Birk Economic Recovery Plan

I am against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.



Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in

a "We Deserve It Dividend."

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000

bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.


Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman

and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.



My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a

"We Deserve It Dividend."

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.



So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.



Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.



That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.



But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.



A husband and wife has $595,000.00.



What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.

00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.



Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

Put away money for college - it'll be there

Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.



Buy a new car - create jobs

Invest in the market - capital drives growth

Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks

who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company

that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.



If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of

trickling out a puny $1000.

00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by

one of our candidates for President.




If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts.



Let American General go back to being American General.



Sell off the real estate.



Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.



Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.



Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion

We Deserve It Dividend more than do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC .



And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.

5 Billion is returned

instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.



Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.



Kindest personal regards,

Birk

T. J.

Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen


PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a
laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

What am I supposed to do with my Twitter Page?

Does anybody know? I have one. I have people following me. I am following other people. But I'm still not sure why.

Thoughts?

Here's my URl if you're interested http://twitter.com/MissJodi

Natural Highs -- How many can I do this week?

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio..
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (the very first).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Anyone have any experience with a 504 plan?

Janey has been diagnosed with ADHD and her doctor has suggested she be given a 504 plan. I've heard that the Roland-Story Middle School is not the easiest to work with when it comes to these things. And, yes, I realize that posting that ion the internet may get me into trouble -- but I really don't care. I want to work WITH them, but if they start to give us the run around, I want to be prepared.

They won't just start the plan -- I know that. Even though she has been through 6 hours of academic and psychological testing with a psychologist, they are not required to put her on a plan. They will have to do their own evaluation (I guess)

I am exasperated with this because Janey has already missed (I believe) 2 years of academics. This isn't her fault, or the fault of her teachers. I feel like it's my fault because I should have realized that she was in need of more help a lot earlier than I did. But now that we know, I want to be sure we get her caught up and continue to build her self confidence.

So here are my questions...

How long should it take to see a 504 plan in place for Janey?

How long should we give the plan a chance to work before we take other action?

Our back up plan would be for her to complete 5th grade (and possibly more) in a home school setting. Does anyone have any experience with homeschooling an ADHD child and what curricula are recommended? I know that Roland-Story won't let you use their curricula.

I think I'm ready

to write about what has had me so preoccupied for so long. On Monday, I'm going in to Mary Greeley for a Laparoscopy. That is where they cut a small incision in my abdomen and insert a camera to look around and see why I've been in a tremendous amount of pain for so many months. What they are looking for is Endometriosis - which I fully believe they will find. The ultrasounds have showed some pretty blatant symptoms and I have a pretty strong family history for the condition.

The only way to get rid of it - and the pain - is to have a hysterectomy. The thought of surgery like that has has me a little freaked out. I would really like to have my life back, but the trade off is several days in the hospital and a pretty substantial recovery time. I know, small price to pay. I just can't get my mind out of the short term. Can the family get along without me for that long? How will the house stay kept up? How will the laundry get done? Will I end up doing too much too soon and making the recovery time even longer?

Aahh. I know, Jeff and the kids should help out. Well, honestly, lately Jeff has been so preoccupied with his own life - job hunt, band, etc. - he does NOTHING around here. I'm not going to write any more about Jeff right now because it makes me angry and stressed out. And as far as the kids...they do as much (or more) than the typical 10 and 6 year old do already. Taking care of their sick mother is way too much to ask.

Okay, enough. One of my big pet peeves is blogs that are a constant vent session. I will stop before it gets any worse! But I thought it was time to let my friends and family know what's been going on. I truly appreciate all of the well wishes and I'll keep you updated on my progress -- in a positive way!

A FULL day of work!

I have been working on fall enrollments all day and I am so excited! The studio is really starting to do well. I love the work. Teaching is such an incredible experience. Watching those precious little ones grow and learn...it's amazing!

The paperwork...I can do without!

All Alone!

Jana took Janey and Joey for the weekend, Jeff is at work...

I'm all alone! Not quite sure what to do with myself!

Gratitude Journal Day 3

Okay, I missed a day. I had a Doctor appointment and then had to spend the rest of the day feeling crappy because of the doctor appointment.

But I have thought of something else to be thankful for...

The fact that my Doctor listens to me. I am hurting and scared and he is patient and slow and very kind. He doesn't act like he has tons of other patients to see (even though I know he does) and answers all of my questions in a very simple and straightforward way.

I kind of feel bad -- but not really!

Jeff has been on a pretty active job hunt for a few weeks now. Since the studio is doing pretty well, it would be a really good time for him to get off the road. He would also like more time for his band...his kids...his WIFE!

Well, last week I got a call from a friend of ours from church who is the new Congregation president. She said that since David (the director of music ministries) was leaving, they were looking to hire several people to do his job. They wondered if I would be interested in directing the children's choirs. The job fits into the schedule I have already planned out for fall semester, the pay would be very close to the rent I pay for the studio (!!) and I would love the experience.

I interviewed last week - they called tonight -- my letter of employment is already drawn up!

Poor Jeff. He's been looking for a job for weeks and I have one practically dropped into my lap! I kind of feel bad -- but not really!
:)

Gratitude Journal Day 2

Okay, another little thing. Coffee.

Not much else to say.

Online Gratitude Journal... Day 1

What am I thankful for? I know I should probably say something big, but today it's just something little. My pillows. I have three of them and I can't sleep without them. There is nothing more satisfying then laying down in bed with my pillows placed just right. Aahh. Life is good.

I can't sleep...

My health has been a huge issue for my family lately. I've been "down" for several months.

Fear of the unknown mixed with pain and discomfort are keeping me up at night. I'm not going to write about the pain just yet. I'm not ready yet. I will soon. But in the meantime, just having friends continue to pray for me and my family is a huge comfort.

Janey goes to Camp

We took Janey to Camp Sacajawea on Sunday, June 22. She took her brand new camera so that she can take lots of pictures and then put a scrap book together. It has been so strange around here with her gone! I miss her!

We'll pick her up today!

I counted my chickens too soon....

The doctor's office called with some test results....


I should have known better than to think everything was all okay since I hadn't heard anything. She said it took a while because they wanted to run them twice to be sure.

Prayers please!

Happy Mother's Day!

This just about says it all...

My friend Stephanie sent this out as a MySpace Bulletin. She says it was from the American Baby Website and I have to agree with her...It sums it all up pretty well.

For All Mothers

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at soccer games instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see my goal?" They could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick children in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Meyer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."

This is for all the mothers of Kosovo who fled in the night and can't find their children. This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see and for the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes and for all the mothers who don't.

What makes a good mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleeping to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

Is it the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?

I think so.

So this is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.

This is for reading "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then reading it again, "Just one more time".

This is for all the mothers who mess up. Who yell at their kids in grocery store and swat them in despair and stomp their feet like a tired two year old who wants ice cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started to school and for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

For all the mothers who bite their lips (sometimes until they bleed) when their 14 year olds dyed their hair green.

This is for all the mothers who lock themselves in the bathroom when babies keep crying and won't stop.

This is for all mothers who show at work with spit-up in their hair and milkstains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

This is for mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home or are grown.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children's graves.

This is for all the mothers whose children have gone astray and who can't find words to reach them.

This is for all the mothers who sent their child to school with a stomach ache, assuring that they would be just FINE once they got there, only to get a call from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up right away.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working moms and stay-at-home moms. Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money and mothers without.

This is for you, so hang in there. The world would be a terrible place without the love of mothers everywhere. You make it a more civil, caring and safe place for the precious children in our world.

Author unknown

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm way too sensitive.

I had to do something I hate this week. I had to send an email to the Girl Scout parents that was not so nice. I needed to remind them to remind their daughters that any issues with Girl Scouts - meeting, activities, etc. need to be directed to me and NOT JANEY. A couple of the girls have decided that Girl Scout isn't for them and rather than just quit, they are being typical nasty 10 year olds and harassing the leader's kid. Nice, huh? Well, I got so many supportive messages from the other Girl Scout parents. Most of them saying they agree that the attitudes are getting out of hand and that there is no reason for Janey to be a target at school.

And then I get the one from her.

You know, the mom that never shows up? The one who knows how to do everything better than I do, but yet won't lift a finger to help out. The one whose personal choices are always made from the perspective of what's best for her - never what's best for her child. The one whose lifestyle is (in my opinion) bordering on child abuse/neglect.

This email ripped me up one side and back down the other. It went on and on about Janey's behavior, (what?) and how her daughter has learned nothing from Girl Scouts this year at all.

I answered this email in a very nice and polite way. I addressed all of the concerns she expressed and also explained that this email was in no way meant as a personal attack on her or her daughter, it was a general email to parents and the third step in the discipline procedure that I have in place.

I never got a reply.

But here's the kicker -- I spent the entire day crying over this email. I didn't get anything done that I had planned to do. I just sat and blubbered about this woman's ridiculousness all day.

I let a person for whom I have no respect dictate how I felt about myself. Stupid, huh? I know. So what do I do now? How do I deal with the fact that I am just way too sensitive? I kind of like the fact that I'm passionate about things, but is it possible to be passionate and tough at the same time? Will a tougher exterior make me less approachable? Am I even capable of developing a tougher skin - and for that matter- do I even really want one?

I've been robbed! (Thanks, Chellie!)

Theft Problem :

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband

You have to have cheese on your taco...

If you don't, then it's just a "tac." The cheese is the "O."

I don't understand. How is the cheese the "O?"

The cheese is the "O" because it's "Oh so good."


This was a conversation between Joey and myself. Can you guess who said what?

I'll give you hint...I left out the first sentence where I asked, "who wants cheese on their taco?"

Anybody remember where this came from?

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh nevermind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you're ahead; sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few, you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

My Paycheck

Some jobs have great benefits, like health insurance, 401K plans, stock options, etc.

My job has great benefits -- hugs and kisses and high fives.

I'll take them over stock options anyday!

I love my job!

:)

Is it the weather?

I am becoming cynical and mean spirited.

I've been in a foul mood for the last few weeks, but in the last couple of days it has gotten considerably worse. I'm snapping at people - even the kids, who have done nothing wrong. I went to the grocery store and got so angry because the elderly lady in front of me wasn't moving as fast as I wanted to go and I actually gave her a dirty look. That's not my usual disposition. So what's up with me?

Do I need sunshine?

Do I need a higher dose of Zoloft?

Do I need...**wink** (I'll let you fill in the blank!)

Maybe I just need to accept the fact that my rosy view of people is naive and short sighted. I need to expect people to be nasty, rude, dishonest and mean and then when they aren't, I can be pleasantly surprised.

Why is it so hard for them to see the obvious?

I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with people. Not all people, just people with children. Not all people with children just certain people with children.

Some of my friends have become so self-centered. Get it through your heads folks! Once you have a child, every decision you make affects them! Stop making decisions that will screw up your kids!!

Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.

I've been tagged!

5 Things You Found In Your Bag

1. Wallet
2. Book I'm reading - Eat Pray Love
3. Make up bag
4. Bottle of Tylenol
5. Gum

5 Favorite Things In Your Room

1. Stained glass lamp
2. Wedding pictures
3. Kid's baby pictures
4. My blanket with the purple flowers
5. Arrested Development DVDs

5 Things You Are Currently Into

1. Gardening
2. Walking
3. Growing my business
4. Improving my teaching skills
5. Making new friends

5 Things You Have Always Wanted To Do

1. Attend a show on Broadway
2. Take vacation on a train
3. Walk in a charity walk
4. Build our dream house (we are on our way!)
5. Take the kids to Disney World

5 People You Want To Tag

1. Kimberly
2. Jen
3. Megan
4.
5.

545 People

This is the simplest, most understandable and truest explanation of the woes of the nation and who caused them, as well as how to cure them. This should be sent to every person in the U.S., including the '545'.

545 People

By Charlie Reese --

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress.

In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority.

They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.

I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.

No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.

The president can only propose a budget.

He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House?

She is the leader of the majority party.

She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want.

If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel

Time Management

Why can't I seem to get my act together? I have so much on my plate right now, but none of it is so demanding that I can't get it all done. I think I almost need to write myself a schedule to keep myself on track. You know, like school?

9-10 am Lesson planning and practice

10-11 am Bookwork and correspondence

12 - 1 pm Laundry and housework
But then how do I monitor myself? With the oven timer? With a CD that plays for 50 minutes?

And here's another delima -- When do I take a day off? Or do I? Am I able to NOT work for a whole day of the week? What the heck will I do with that time?

HELP!!

All Shook Up!

Jeff called a bit ago. He had to tell me that he felt the earthquake this morning! He was stopped for the night in Oak Grove Kentucky.

I think he was a bit "shook up!"

Sorry, I know that was lame!

Kill me now

A MySpace friend of mine posted this as a bulletin. She thought it was possibly the "Gayest Instrument of All Time." Her favorite parts included the jam session and the "more cowbell" parts.

I think I threw up a little in my mouth as I watched it.

I'm a Yellow?

I was taking a little break from my lesson planning and I took one of those online quizzes to determine what color I am.

Apparently, I'm yellow.

Okay, yellow's good. The color of sunshine, daffodils, my favorite robe, a glass of wine....that stain on my kitchen counter that won't go away, the house around the corner where the bratty kids live, urine.

Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this information. Should I seek out other yellows to chat with so we can help each other out with our yellow issues? Should I try to avoid the purples since they are opposite from me on the color wheel? What color is Jeff? Are Janey and Joey automatically green or orange since they have a yellow mother?

What a burden to be labeled. I want to be appreciated as a yellow individually, but also as a part of the greater picture. The essential component of the rainbow, happily nestled between red and orange. A vital part of green.

And the weird part if it is, I always thought of myself as a pink. I don't think these things are very scientific.

Eavesdropping on a conversation in the backseat

Joey: (Reading from a booklet found in the pocket of the seat) Arthur Tricks the Tooth Fairy. Sunday, March 9. Thirteen and fifty dollars. *Note: Joey doesn’t say his "Rs" very well so dollars sounds like "dollos"

Janey: What?

Joey: Arthur Tricks the Tooth Fairy. Sunday, March 9. Thirteen and fifty dollars.

Janey: What? Let me see that. That’s thirteen dollars and fifty cents.

Joey: What?

Janey: Thirteen dollars and fifty cents. Not thirteen and fifty dollars. Thirteen dollars and fifty cents.

Joey: Details.

Trusting in God. Is it just a phrase?

I have put trust in God. Over the last few months there have been lots of conversations between God and I. We've been pretty tight. I truly feel that God has guided me to some of the best decisions I've made for my marriage, my children and my career. And God has graced us all with the power of free will. I make choices and decisions for myself and my family everyday. And while I usually don't ask for God's guidance while choosing which brand of fabric softener to use, I do like to Pray for guidance on the larger decisions.

Something that I have seen more and more is people using their free will to make decisions that are immoral, unethical and just bad, and then claim that God is their guide. I've heard so many times, "God will see me through this. I trust in Him." Okay, I believe that He will, too. But I think the real question is, was God a part of the decision that you made to create the situation that you are in?

What if the result of your unethical decision is injury or monetary loss for others? Say, a drunk driving accident that you caused. If you were truly asking God for guidance, would He lead you to deny responsibility, or to stand up and do your best to make things right?

It's just something that's been on my mind lately.

Movie Quote Game

My cousin Andrew convinced me that I needed to do the IMBD movie quote game. It took me about a week! I went to IMDB and chose 16 of my favorite films. I copied quotes from them and pasted them here. Can you guess what movies they are?

Good Luck!



#1
Personally, Veda’s convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.

#2
Get me a bromide - and put some gin in it.

#3
What I said was true, there’s no difference between the sexes. Men, women, the same.
They are?
Well, maybe there is a difference, but it’s a little difference.
Well, you know as the French say...
What do they say?
Vive la difference!
Which means?
Which means hurrah for that little difference.

#4
Hey Noah, what are you doing with that Ark?
Collecting animals like the good Lord told me brother. All we need now is a jackass. Hop in!


#5
It ain’t fittin’... it ain’t fittin’. It jes’ ain’t fittin’... It ain’t fittin’.


#6
This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
What? Who is this?
This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
Hello? Hello?
What’s the matter?
One of the servants has been at the sherry again.

The Philadelphia Story - Megan

#7
I don’t belong here, I feel it, don’t you think I feel it. I can’t do any of these vile things and I wouldn’t WANT to. Oh, my life is like death. My children are the spawn of hell, and you’re the devil. Oh God.
But baby, we LIKE you.

Overboard - Jen

#8
Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?
Yeah. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

The Breakfast Club - Megan

#9
I’ve sent in my application to the Real World. So I’m hoping to hear back from that. I’m putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I’m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what’s up guys? Want some crack?" I’m just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.

Talledega Nights - Megan


#10
Now, Milton. Don’t be greedy. Pass the cake along so everyone gets a piece.
Last time, I did not receive a piece, and I was told that I...
Just pass.
Oh. Okay.

Office Space - Kim, Andrew


#11
What was her family like?
What you’d expect: toffee-nosed and useless. Her father was the Earl of Carton, which sounds good except he didn’t have a pot to piss in.
Why do we spend our time living through them? Look at poor old Lewis. If her own mother had a heart attack, she’d think it was less important than one of Lady Sylvia’s farts.

#12
I’m sure I don’t do anything you would find exciting. I don’t open beer bottles with my toes, I don’t sit around and count what’s left of my teeth, hey, I don’t even enjoy a good tractor pull.
Life of the party, huh? Place must be crawling with guys.
As a matter of fact, I do have a boyfriend.
Well there’s a rough gig. What do you do, keep him chained up in the basement?
Hale at the moment is working in my father’s London office, he’s an MBA - Harvard. You may have heard of it. They do have a hockey team.
He must be very smart. I bet you look pretty good from a few thousand miles away.


#13
Baby?
Your daughter’s having a baby?
A baby?
You’re going to be a grandma?
No, no, no, no. I’m too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression.
I was at Woodstock, for Christ’s sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who’s helicopter as it flew away!
I was at Woodstock.
Oh yeah? I thought you looked familiar!


#14
Where are you boys from in the world?
Alabama, sir!
You twins?
No, we are not relations, sir.

Forrest Gump - Jen

#15
The fact that you’re not answering leads me to believe you’re either (a) not at home, (b) home but don’t want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it’s either (a) or (c), please call me back.

When Harry Met Sally - Kim


#16
I wish you hadn’t worn this jacket.
What’s wrong with it?
Well, look at it - it’s got your name and your picture on it. It’s a little grotesque.
I’m proud of what I do.
So is the President - he doesn’t wear his picture on his suit.
Hi.
Mitch Robbins.
I’m Ed Furillo - I sell sporting goods.
Show him your jacket.
I’m Phil Berquist. I committed adultery; lost my job and my family.
His jacket’s being made.

City Slickers - Megan

Eat...Girl Scout Cookies, Pray...Girl Scout Cookies, Love...Girl Scout Cookies

We currently have 1377 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies in our little house. Getting them here took two trips with the truck and well crafted human chain. Everyone helps. This year, the process was made more complicated by the ice on our driveway, but by 8:00 Thursday evening, all of the Thin Mints and Shortbreads had made it into the house safely.

This whole ordeal is tiring on a good day, but with a low grade fever and a headache -- it's downright incapacitating. At 9:00, after a good dinner and a headache pill, I decided that the process of separating the orders for each Girl Scout could wait until morning. I made myself a cup of Sleepytime tea, waded through the sea of Peanutbutter Patties and Lemonades to curl up on the sofa with the book I'm currently reading, Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I found my place, marked with a bookmark Joey made for me. Chapter 6. The first line I read...

"Oh, but it wasn't all bad those few years...
"Because God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout Cookies."

Do you ever feel like this?

It's Ingrid Michaelson. Love it!

We are what we eat...

This is interesting info...

You are what you eat, so eat well. A stupendous insight of civilizations past has now been confirmed by today's investigative, nutritional sciences. They have shown that what was once called "The Doctrine of Signatures" was astoundingly correct. It now contends that every whole food has a pattern that resembles a body organ or physiological function and that this pattern acts as a signal or sign as to the benefit the food provides the eater. Here is just a short list of examples of Whole Food Signatures.

A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye...and science shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart is red and has four chambers. All of the research shows tomatoes are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows that grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds are on the nut just like the neo-cortex. We now know that walnuts help develop over 3 dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet the body pulls it from the bones, making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Eggplant, Avocados and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this?. It takes exactly 9 months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the motility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Grapefruits, Oranges, and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like body cells. Today's research shows that onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes.

Joey for President!

Tonight as I was getting Joey all snuggled into bed I told him how proud I am of his work in school lately. Earlier this evening, his teacher, Mrs Lunn, called with a report for us on a test that his class had recently taken. Joey did remarkably well on this test and she also expressed how she has been impressed with his behavior lately, too.

I then asked him a silly question - a quirky part of our bedtime routine. Since my pride was bubbling over, tonight's question was, "are you going to grow up and be President one day?"

He answered, "yes."

I gave him another hug and kiss, made sure he had his water and his blanket and went to go turn out the light. As I reached the door, Joey said, "Mom? When I get to be President, which coin do I get to be on?"

Needless to say, I had no answer!

Why I'm glad I don't have a cuckoo clock!

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise" were my last words.



Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3:00 am and a bit loaded, we piled into a cab and headed for our respective homes Just as I got through the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.



Realizing my husband would probably wake up, I quickly cuckooed another 9 times. I was particularly proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution to cover up my tardiness. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos....MIDNIGHT).



The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't raise an eyebrow and continued to read the morning paper. Whew! Got away with that one!!



Then he said, "I think we might need a new cuckoo clock."



When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh, shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Everybody loves a montage...